who are you

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User offline. Last seen 5 years 19 weeks ago. Offline
Joined: Feb 6 2013

Hello, my name is Matt, I am 32 and I am currently in college pursuing a Master's in International Relations, I interpret German and Farsi, I am also proficient in French, Spanish and Italian, I can translate text from numerous regions etc. and am late because I lasted two years as a cosmetologist and about the same as a cake decorator.  I also have a brown belt in judo, I spent years as a kid as a purple belt (the highest one can go).

As far as medications go, I am HYPER, I have taken EVERY medication for it, even Desoxyn Gradument at 15 for a few months but it was a pain to get so I went back to the Ritalin and Dexedrine rotation.  I am a fast metabolizer so I need higher than average doses except for now because I discovered Daytrana and I have heard various opinions but I learned that I need 2 doses of Ritalin LA in the AM so that the 4 hour crash is in time for when the Daytrana starts to really get going.  I also take klonopin mainly in the summer because I have had manic moods since I was a kid in the summer... bipolar isn't accurate to me.  Mania can be fun, productive and creative but it can cause you to sit in your apartment for 10 days screaming at the detectives you think are framing you with a knife to your own throat because I thought they were going to kick my door in.  Lamictal is the only thing that prevents it.  Klonopin helps with this sensory overload that makes a nuclear bomb going off so I don't escalate... I take a higher dose of my ADHD meds to slow me down and Lamictal and keep my blinds down early so I can sleep and Take klonopin short term.  When I was a kid, my mom had me on a Xanax and Dexedrine megadose combo since they both make me really zombie like and after 10 years on Xanax, I was increased from .25 twice to 2 mg every 2.5 hours to prevent feeling like I am having a heart attack.  The doctor's theory was, "it shuts him up".... my dexedrine dose was 2 15 mg caps dumped in applesauce and 3 shield shaped tablets 3 times a day.  I went to the hospital and did the librium taper and had jolts up my arms for 2 years after so I was very dependant on them and when I was on 12-14 mg per day, I would black out and drive or steal or leave 12 back to back messages to my mom telling her I hated her.  She died because she was on 16 mg of Klonopin for RLS, 2 mg of Xanax almost every time I turned around and took something called Opana and was on a massive dose of that too.

I have brought my laptop to appointments and showed reviews from people specifically with Mylan and Mallinckrodt because one has no effect (Mylan benzos) and the other has made me psychotic with three different drugs and 2 were related and only occurred on that brand (methylin er and ir dex er and percocet).  Luckily there are few people that do well on those brands of meds and she knew that I had to avoid any drug that those 2 have a brand in.  I look forward to fitting in somehow.  I am so hyper that one day when I try to run accross the street when the car is in that "maybe I can make it" zone, that I may need pain management.  I don't judge, I am called a tweaker all the time.  I used to party and only abused an opiate once, it was an orange morphine and I spent the night hugging the toilet, scratching my legs and dry heaving (I was 15).

Quite the diverse group... nice!

lost in pain
User offline. Last seen 3 years 10 weeks ago. Offline
Joined: Aug 22 2012
who am I

      I am a married 37yrs old mom with 5 kids.my last son I was high risk preg.and slipped and fell in a store.after having my son I did a MRI and found I have ddd and spinal stenocis and ruptured disc from neck to tail bone.o and bulging disc.I found this site when I was trying to find out why I couldn't get my meds any more....Embarassed

                                                                                                                           nice meeting you all

penny611's picture
User offline. Last seen 5 weeks 2 days ago. Offline
Joined: May 27 2010
I am....

A 60 yr old male with chronic pain issues, ADHD and a complicated life punctuated with substance abuse, depression and anxiety. I went to school and studied Biology, Chemistry leading to the practice of nursing later in life. I enjoy fantasy stories, disease and its effect on human history. I enjoy conservative politics and have a strong faith in the Christian Church. Pharmacology, psychopharmacology, organic synthesis experiments. I'm grateful to have this forum and the widely diverse group of people that it has.

User offline. Last seen 2 years 9 weeks ago. Offline
Joined: Apr 7 2009
Hi folks

I just stumbled across this thread tho I've been a member for years.  It's so nice to hear from you newer members! I can. say that pharmer has helped me immensely as I deal with my cancer pain issues, PCa. Matt, I am also Dx'ed with ADHD and am familiar with the men at the door only my psychotic fantasy was men in the trees like the old Steely Dan song. best of luck to you all and the least of pain . . . Quincy